Inauguration Day

Sunday January 23 2005

I guess we have reached the point of no return. It looks like Karl Rove managed to get Ohio’s compromised election results to stick. The Reverend Dr. Michael Newdow’s attempt to have “so help me God” stricken from the Presidential Oath of Office has gone down in flames too.

Welcome to America of the 21st century. Where elections are stolen and the very people who cannot accept two loving men being joined in wedlock relentlessly shove God down our throats. It gets worse from here folks. Soon we will begin desecrating the wildlife reserves in Alaska, Creating national ID cards and deporting all foreign born workers and their families. Next will be “gay gene eradication therapy” for all pregnant women followed by a complete and total ban on abortions of any kind.

We might as well go ahead and set up group homes for the children of incest and rape because we certainly don’t want them walking amongst the rest of us. While were at it let’s build some death camps for Polocks and make all our women wear veils. As long as the Republicans are in power we run the risk of seeing these things happen.

As I watched the extravagant inaugural events unfold on my TV I pondered what might be worse than four more years with Bush at the wheel. Though many scenarios crossed my mind I have narrowed it down to the worst three:

1. Bush gets assassinated and Cheney becomes President. – Ouch. This guy is a real lowlife. He has made millions of dollars on the war in Iraq in spite of what factcheck.com says about it. What kind of scumbag would drag his lesbian daughter into the campaign just to cinch the gay vote? Cheney would probably outsource the Defense Department, and Homeland Security in the form of a no-bid contracts to Halliburton.

2. Bush and Cheney get assassinated. Colin Powell becomes President. – Scenario #1 looks pretty good from this perspective. Affirmative action would be forced upon every corporation in the country and Martha Stewart will never see the light of day again. Martha Stewart Omnimedia, AOL Time Warner, and Microsoft would fall victim to a hostile take-over by Harpo Productions and become the largest economy in the world.

3. Bush, Cheney, and Powell are assassinated and Rumsfeld becomes president. – Rumsfeld would claim that North Korea they has WMD and he and Wolfowitz orchestrate another military incursion. When it is later proven that they never had WMD, China would launch it’s nukes on North America wiping us off the face of the earth.

As you can see there are far worse things that could happen than the next four years with Bush as president. Therefore, sending Anthrax to the White House is probably not a good idea unless he tries to repeal Article XXII which would allow him to run for yet another term.

Copyright © 2005 Quaid Davis. All rights reserved.