Saturday October 25, 2008
I spent sixteen days in jail awaiting my arraignment on Burglary charges. The DA and my sister Daphne agreed to Drop the Arson charge since it had been an unintended consequence of the burglary. That was good news for me. My public defender told me that since it was technically a first offense, I was likely to get a suspended sentence providing that I successfully completed a substance abuse program.
Then of course I had problems with the FBI. They had been tapping my phone and reading my email since I started this blog in mid 2004. I was also the victim of rendition at the hands of the government in early 2006 and spent a few months at Guantanamo.
I had one or two conversations with a nameless friend of mine immediately following the mid term elections of 2006. We discussed the perfect plan to assassinate George W. Bush and Dick Cheney. This act of patriotism would have put Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi into the White House. Naturally, the FBI, The Secret Service, and The department of Agriculture began relentlessly monitoring my activities. I finally was forced to fake my own death to get them off of my back (but that's another story). My friend Cowboy Frank still hasn't been able to shake them.
Suffice it to say that the feds are now back in my life with a vengeance. Let me tell you this, If the federal government was as aggressive about feeding the homeless as they are about eavesdropping on the private conversations of it's citizens, we'd have a lot less hungry homeless people walking around out there.
My arraignment went pretty well even though my public defender turned out to be a moron. I think the judge must have recognized that I really hadn't received the best of counsel and was very lenient on me. Thirty days in jail, $300,000 in restitution, court monitored rehabilitation and counseling, and seven years probation.
All things considered, it was a pretty fair deal. I would need to play some pretty serious Keno to get the restitution money but that was a small order. As far as my problems with the federal government are concerned, I will just have to bide my time till Bush and Cheney are out of the White House and my right to privacy is restored.
I got out of jail after serving the remainder of my sentence with a sense of euphoria that I had not known for some time. I was actually looking forward to the rehab. I had no place to go once I left jail so I immediately got a pedicure then checked into rehab. I was able to get a Keno game started amongst some of the patients that turned out to be pretty lucrative. By the time I checked out three weeks later I had already made $21,000 and some change.
Once I finished the rehab stint, it was time to start my probation. I got myself into a nice high rise apartment that was fully furnished and very plush. A condition of my probation was gainful employment. So I got a job cutting meat at a grocery store near my apartment. Surprisingly, I enjoyed butchering animals more than I expected being vegan and all.
My probation officer was a very nice looking woman in her early fifties. I immediately started putting the moves on her and she responded. Before too long we were bumping uglies in her office for an hour once per week. Within two months we were shacked up in my apartment.
Things were going pretty well between us for a couple of weeks until we started to drift apart. I ended up throwing her out a few weeks ago.
The judge reluctantly assigned me a new probation officer. She's a few years younger, much hotter, and she likes to toss my salad every now and again. You can be sure that I won't make the mistake of moving her into my place. That just messes things up.
My relationship with my sister is now on the repair. I had dinner with her and her new boyfriend (my public defender) just last week. My restitution is almost paid in full
I just want everyone to know that if you suffer from an addiction there is hope. Even when things go horribly wrong, you can always recover.
Copyright © 2008 Quaid Davis. All rights reserved.
I spent sixteen days in jail awaiting my arraignment on Burglary charges. The DA and my sister Daphne agreed to Drop the Arson charge since it had been an unintended consequence of the burglary. That was good news for me. My public defender told me that since it was technically a first offense, I was likely to get a suspended sentence providing that I successfully completed a substance abuse program.Then of course I had problems with the FBI. They had been tapping my phone and reading my email since I started this blog in mid 2004. I was also the victim of rendition at the hands of the government in early 2006 and spent a few months at Guantanamo.
I had one or two conversations with a nameless friend of mine immediately following the mid term elections of 2006. We discussed the perfect plan to assassinate George W. Bush and Dick Cheney. This act of patriotism would have put Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi into the White House. Naturally, the FBI, The Secret Service, and The department of Agriculture began relentlessly monitoring my activities. I finally was forced to fake my own death to get them off of my back (but that's another story). My friend Cowboy Frank still hasn't been able to shake them.
Suffice it to say that the feds are now back in my life with a vengeance. Let me tell you this, If the federal government was as aggressive about feeding the homeless as they are about eavesdropping on the private conversations of it's citizens, we'd have a lot less hungry homeless people walking around out there.
My arraignment went pretty well even though my public defender turned out to be a moron. I think the judge must have recognized that I really hadn't received the best of counsel and was very lenient on me. Thirty days in jail, $300,000 in restitution, court monitored rehabilitation and counseling, and seven years probation.
All things considered, it was a pretty fair deal. I would need to play some pretty serious Keno to get the restitution money but that was a small order. As far as my problems with the federal government are concerned, I will just have to bide my time till Bush and Cheney are out of the White House and my right to privacy is restored.
I got out of jail after serving the remainder of my sentence with a sense of euphoria that I had not known for some time. I was actually looking forward to the rehab. I had no place to go once I left jail so I immediately got a pedicure then checked into rehab. I was able to get a Keno game started amongst some of the patients that turned out to be pretty lucrative. By the time I checked out three weeks later I had already made $21,000 and some change.
Once I finished the rehab stint, it was time to start my probation. I got myself into a nice high rise apartment that was fully furnished and very plush. A condition of my probation was gainful employment. So I got a job cutting meat at a grocery store near my apartment. Surprisingly, I enjoyed butchering animals more than I expected being vegan and all.
My probation officer was a very nice looking woman in her early fifties. I immediately started putting the moves on her and she responded. Before too long we were bumping uglies in her office for an hour once per week. Within two months we were shacked up in my apartment.
Things were going pretty well between us for a couple of weeks until we started to drift apart. I ended up throwing her out a few weeks ago.
The judge reluctantly assigned me a new probation officer. She's a few years younger, much hotter, and she likes to toss my salad every now and again. You can be sure that I won't make the mistake of moving her into my place. That just messes things up.
My relationship with my sister is now on the repair. I had dinner with her and her new boyfriend (my public defender) just last week. My restitution is almost paid in full
I just want everyone to know that if you suffer from an addiction there is hope. Even when things go horribly wrong, you can always recover.
Copyright © 2008 Quaid Davis. All rights reserved.
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